


Del's Secret

by bansidhe



Category: The Sandman
Genre: Dysfunctional Family, Family Drama, Gen, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-01-25
Updated: 2005-01-25
Packaged: 2017-10-10 17:47:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/102430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bansidhe/pseuds/bansidhe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Delirium has a <i>secret,</i> and Desire wants to know it: Family politics ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Del's Secret

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written as a quick little comment-fic to cheer up a friend on [Livejournal](http://community.livejournal.com/writingbansidhe/17186.html), this one still stands up as one of my favorite Sandman pieces I've written: I hope you enjoy it too.

   Del (Delirium not Delight maybe Deliberate but Del) sat on the ground in front of the street trying not to become finches or fishes or a congregation of ittybitty multicolored alligators snapping at the toes of passerby and waited (for what she didn't exactly know but it seemed like a good idea at the time because tempus frangit and hearts why hearts but hearts of glass) for someone. She was turning the pretty time-rounded pieces of glass beneath her knees into perfectly spherical pieces of sand etched with all the words she wanted to know like the word for when things aren't the way they always were and will hurt a little but is inevitable and unstoppable when the scent of cigarettes burning brought her back.  
   Oh.   
   _That's_ who she was waiting for. She looked up at her sister-brother, dressed again in that immaculate white suit hesheit had worn when spider-cracking the mirrors in that party-place and shattering like rain.  
   "Del." Desire's fingers snap in front of her face, irritably. "Come back, sis. You can't keep doing this."  
   Del offered the sister-brother a smile for the angels. "I DiDN't tHInk yoU cARed?"  
   "I don't." Of course, even as Desire was saying it, Desire was helping Del to her feet, straightening her coat to cover what the fishnet didn't.   
Del looked down to not meet the golden eyes (which isn't hard with Desire taller than her though not really tall at all but not as small as the silly old lady sister who is and isn't more frightening than Desire) and fidgeted. Her hands moved and lightly swatted her sister-brother's away, too large jacket like her brother, her lost brother's again falling askew on her shoulders and her voice was plaintive like a three day old kitten crying. "Go aWay. iF you dOn't cAre."

   "Whatever, sis." Desire let her go with a small snort of laughter, but didn't leave.

   Desire was laughing at her and Del could feel that little angry ball in her stomach twist and spin and start rolling up toward her throat. "StOP tHAT! JUst beCaUSe YoU'rE olDEr aND oOoOo, yOU'rE _Desire of the Endless_ dOEsn'T mEAn yOu gEt to bE Mean, aND I WaS goINg to tELl yoU sOMeTHing bUt now I thINk i wON't. HOw dO You LIke _tHOsE_ crABapPlES, DesIRE?"  
   "What could _you_ possible know that I want to, Del?"  
   "a sECrEt." Del made the word a sing-song stepping delicately and dancing around the curve of the s and the c.  
   Desire looked interested now: It was only a gleam in those warm-cold eyes of himherit, but Desire was paying attention. Del knew her sister-brother well enough on that front.    Smoke from Desire's cigarette curled up and around, serpentine and almost a question mark.  
   "Not tELlinG," was the smug reply to the not-question and she wondered what the is word for it when there is a question when no one asks it and Del still hummed 'sECrEt' beneath her breath and tiny ballerinas spun off au pointe through the air and curling smoke.

   Desire glared.   
   Delirium didn't budge, now writing 'Secret' in long-lost languages with her fingertips on the wall, leaving trails of pink and purple and green that dripped like blood.  
   Desire still didn't leave, and twisted the exhausted cigarette butt between hisherits fingers before pitching it angrily down the alley and lighting up another. "All right, Del. What do you want for it?"  
   "LOve."  
   "Whose?"  
   "yOUrs." And before Desire could gape at her or narrow those angry eyes or do anything more hurtful like laugh or use _that_ voice that all the Endless seem to have she hurried up and said the rest. "i knOw yOu WOn't eVEr GiVE me thINgs lIke liKe Kindness Or Respect oR tAkE me Seriously Or sTaY oUt Of mY aFfaIRs oR aNYthiNg. So i WaNT yOuR love."

   Desire pinched the bridge of hisherits nose, eyes closed as if in pain and with a palm concealing the androgyne's expression.   
   "ssSssEcReT," Del offered again, helpfully.  
   "I don't have time for this," Desire announced, releasing the hold to wave the hand around, cigarette trailing smoke to the movement. "I don't need any secret this badly. Look me up when you're back in your realm and feeling more helpful, sis."

   Del didn't pay attention when Desire faded out since she was still singing the word to see how far she could make it draw out before it was a hiss. Del knew the secret, and that was the important part.

   Desire already loved Delirium, and Del knew it. Desire was just as stuffy and subbornheaded and unfun as their older brother sometimes, and Del always listened and knew everything that Desire hated about Dream was the same about Desire. Del knew the word for that sometime and it was something like when you don't like someone because you see something in them that you're afraid of in yourself and she had forgotten it but that wasn't important because it meant she could go find it again and that was fun and she had a doggy somewhere that she needed to find again since she had displaced him or maybe he had misplaced her and it was hard to remember which was which...


End file.
